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untitled / Sex & Intimacy / 6:22 PM - Thursday January 03, 2008
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A Thinker (Female, 22-25, Student) asked:


If a guy considers you his best friend, but also wants to have sex with you what's the deal? I mean what's the difference between being best friends that have sex, and being in a relationship. It's not just a sex thing...we talk all the time and hang out all the time too. What's this about?

Update: January 03, 2008.
well we do do the dinners (not too fancy) and he wants me to meet his folks... thanks a lot for your reply!


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A Thinker (Female, 22-25, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: psychoticbabe1


it's not a relationship if hes not made a commitment to you

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A Trendsetter (Female, New York, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: sunshinehighway


It's just friends with benefits. Bottom line, if he doesn't make a commitment to you, it's definitely not a relationship. Basically, there is no mystery here. He is your friend and he enjoys having sex with you. It's up to you whether to proceed, demand something more, or cut him off.

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Cleveland, 36-45, Executive) answered:

Screenname: hubbyochris


you hang out, you talk all the time, you're getting what a woman looks for in a relationship. Sounds like he'd like to get what a man looks for in a relationship.

Is that so wrong?

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A Trendsetter (Female, 22-25, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: actress8503


He probably wants you to bring up a relationship too, and probably also may be afraid of commitment. You need to discuss this with him; be the first to bring it up. It may be the only way.

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A Creative (Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer) answered:

Screenname: uniquelyme2


It means he likes your body enough to want to have sex with you, but he doesn't like you enough to consider you girlfriend material.


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An Intellectual Guy (Male, 22-25, Technical) answered:

Screenname: damnpoor


Friends don't buy each other jewelry, take each other to fancy dinners, or meet the parents. If you're friends who have sex it means he gets to sleep with someone without all the annoying stuff that comes along with dating.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Charlotte, Who Cares?, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: smartblond


keep it simple.. dont have sex with your friends..

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A Mr. Married Guy (Male, 56-65, Science / Engineering) answered:

Screenname: welloone


I think he woke up one day and said to himself "self, why am I just being friends with old what's her name. She is fun, witty, beautiful, sexy, and available. Besides, for reasons I have no clue about, she likes me."

Since you already know each other, and are best friends (a serious attribute in any relationship), he thinks the next natural step is to have sex.

If you don't want it to go farther, or suspect he just wants to have sex, or you just want to clear the air, you might bring it up to him. Just ask him if he is thinking you might be a girlfriend, or just a nice fuck.

But from your description, I think he wants to make this more of a relationship, and hope the friendship survives.

Good luck

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A Creative (Male, San Francisco, 46-55, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: betterbird


It sounds to me like you guys have a relationship going, although it may not be quite what you had in mind.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, 36-45) answered:

Screenname: suburbsprincess


Unless you discuss it outright and he says that he wants to be in a relationship with you, odds are it's just fwb (I lost my best friend due to a similar situation among other things and it's not easy...I miss him every day.). My 'friend' took me out on a regular basis (dinner, movies, museums, theater, concerts, etc), often brought me to dinner at his parents' home, flirted with me, made passes at me and finally outright asked me to spend the night with him (silly me for thinking that since we weren't in junior high that we both understood what we were doing). Talk about it, make sure you are both clear about it...don't hint, insinuate, assume you understand, OK? Best friends don't come along every day and too often you hear of things like this blowing the friendship apart. My fingers are crossed for you...

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Pittsburgh, 46-55, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: chlp2200


My best friend is a female and we have sex from time to time as I could never tell her no and she could never tell me no as we are best friends

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A Creative (Female, Edmonton, 36-45, Student) answered:

Screenname: fastball


It's possible that he doesn't want to define the relationship just yet and is trying to get used to being with someone...if he continues to talk to you and hang out with you after you have sex, it's possible that he's just trying to get used to having someone there...:D

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