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Active Questions

For Real?
Sex & Intimacy / 8:17 PM - Sunday December 30, 2007

For Real?

I'm curious on your take on this...

Most of the men I know have said that *most* women have lesbian tendencies. Meaning that women can appreciate beauty within their own sex as well as the opposite sex, whereas men tend to only be able to appreciate beauty from the opposite sex. Most men I know say that women have fewer reserves about making love to another woman than a man would if faced with sex with another man. An example I was given was this: If a group of men were (for some reason) in one room watching porn, they would feel uncomfortable and eventually leave the room, whereas women would feel more compelled to stay in the room and turn their attention and sexual desire toward each other.

Now I have no idea if this is true or a load of crap, but I'm really curious to hear what you all: men AND women have to say about it. I've never really thought about it, but I can say see the whole appreciating beauty thing. I mean, you never hear a guy say: "Wow that guy has great eyes!" but women will appreciate and compliment the beauty of other women...usually non-sexually anyway.

So let me know your opinions!

- Asked by ladymacphisto, An Engaged Girl, Female, 29-35, St.Louis, Administrative

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Well, my views tend to be inline with Taoist/Buddhist views.

There are two energies in this world. Yin and Yang. Women are Yin energy and men are Yang. The Yang energies are dominant, and the Yin energies are subordinate/submissive.

Therefore, two yin energies can come together, and a Yin and Yang energy can come together, but two yang energies don't mix well.

So, to translate. If a guy were to open up and "divert his sexual energy towards another guy", he could wind up getting his ass kicked. You don't hear much about women kicking much butt because another woman hit on her.

I beleive in the Eastern philosophy on this. Two men together is just asking for trouble. There is a dominance factor that has to be worked out. With two women, this dominance factor doesn't exist.

I think this is also why the woman is just the ultimate sexual creature.

- Response by curadvent, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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It sounds like a load of bullshit to me, frankly. Hot, but still shit. I think women recognize that they are more beautiful than men any day of the week, and maybe some do more exploring that way ... maybe.

But I know if Tom Brady were available, and the possibility existed, I'd have his child in a minute. (Don't tell anyone I said that ...)

- Response by regnadkcin, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Boston, Artist / Musician / Writer

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i am so agreeing with that!

just tonight i saw this movie with some hot chicks in it with my bro and his wife...the wife then said..yeah there were hot girls in that film right?

and i was like :O
U women get away with so much more..!
chilled ;)

- Response by chilledoutboy, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 22-25

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Just because a woman says that another woman is attractive, doesn't mean anything. I say it, but there's no way in hell I'd ever want to be with another woman. I like men way too much.

- Response by italiangypsy, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Philadelphia, Managerial

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I agree, women are able to look at other women and say how attractive they are b/c women have more beauty traits, whereas men carry "handsome" traits. Beauty can be found in most anything, a scenery, a moment, and so on... so, I think it's easier for a woman to appreciate beauty (even if it just so happens to be in another women), while men can't look at a man and appreciate their "handsomeness", b/c you don't find "handsome" in a scenery, a moment or so on...... SO, I would have to say that is why it's so much easier for a woman to find beauty in another women, having no sexual desire for that woman.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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I'm rolling my eyes at this.

These guys are confusing being able to appreciate beauty with sexual attraction. Men don't do this because they are afraid of looking gay, women have no such fear.

And yes, I'm sure there are more women who would consider same sex activities than there are men. That has to do with culture- lesbian porn and male homophobia.

That still doesn't mean that most women have lesbian tendencies. More does not equal most.

I love the part where they think women watching porn together would start hooking up. They have obviously been watching way too much porn. I have watched porn with other girls and the standard is more "Good that gguy is ugly" or "Is that how you give head?" more laughing at them than anything else. And a lot more guys watch porn together than girls- most guys I knew in college had, only some of the women had.

These guys really don't get it or women in general. This boys is what happens when you watch too much porn and don't understand that it is a male fantasy not female reality.

- Response by km12, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, New York, Student

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Your friends (as with most men) have been watching too much porn. Men are so stupid.

- Response by floridagirl, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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We have four branches of service, five if you count the Coast Guard (and we should), who have historically been predominently male. This did not foster untoward sexual encounters of any great number. On the other hand, the women being segregated from the men, were often reported (unvarified) to be doing each other in the absence of male companionship.

So, let's see, in summary that says that men, left to their own devices will lean on their own devices rather than on each other, sexually. But it doesn't look like the same is true for women.

There is a lot more to this that sits in the midst of socialogical behavior patterns and self and peer image. That gets deep and we won't address that here.


PS: Have a Happy New Year!

- Response by rekkonball, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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Appreciating beauty of a same sex person does not imply homosexual tendencies! I do agree that women are MUCH more relaxed about expressing appreciation of another womans beauty or figure, and that women are not as uptight about conveying feelings toward another woman.
I've watched porn with other women but we did not suddenly turn on each other and have an orgy.

- Response by rhonda35, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Men feel perfectly comfortable watching porn together. It is the women who feel uncomfortable.

Men feel much more comfortable than women with the sexuality. I know many married women who are embarassed to watch porn with their own husbands, or even allow them to see them naked.

Men do not "keep" up their physical appearance like women do. They shave and get a shower and are done. Women take a lot of time to groom themselves. It's human nature because the most attractive women get the most men. It's the natural order. Therefore, a woman appreciates another woman's ability to be attractive.

I am bisexual, and of course, I'm completely comfortable around men and women. I, however, tend to notice only the women who I am attracted to versus the ones who are attractive.

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Managerial

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