goodness. It sounds real tough.
But to give you my honest opinion, "yes," I think it's okay for someone to be friends with their ex-whatevers. Because, here's the thing: break ups in relationships don't always harbor from hate. And even if it came from hate, you'd much rather have someone prefer liking you than to have perpetually hard feelings. It's nice to be liked, and to raise hell over somethings just isn't worth disturbing the potential peace. I'm not saying you're raising hell, but being friends is okay, I think. I understand that it bothers you a lot, but hey, he has you. You should trust him and believe that he's not going to do anything wrong to you. After all, he IS the man you trusted you love, right? Then trusting him would mean believing yourself, as well.
There's something wrong with not getting a divorce and going out with another girl for 19 months, knowing your wife wants you back, but ... then again, you really can't do anything about it unless you forge their signatures or something. If he really wants to start fresh, he should get a divorce ASAP -- I'm thinking it's not only the financial situation that's causing a problem. However, if they're living separately, I don't think there's nothing to really worry about. He has you, you have him (although not legally), and he loves you more than he loves his wife (right?). If you're seriously considering marrying this man, you might want to sit down and talk to him about him signing the papers, but if not, then just relax and see how it goes. Raise hell when he DOES go back to her. Worry about the relationship between you & him -- not about him and his "ex" wife. If ya'll have your relationship secured, then don't try making any problems worse. Focus on what you have in front of you, and worry about the rest when it comes up and really strikes you hard. Trust him first. :)
hope all goes well :)
- Response by sunsetorange
, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28, Student