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Why does a man ask a 1st date 2 his house 4 dinner
Dating / 8:32 AM - Tuesday November 06, 2007

Why does a man ask a 1st date 2 his house 4 dinner

Okay, if a man asks a woman to go to his house for dinner or a first or second date, is that because he doesn't want to pay for dinner out, loves to cook and feels more comfortable at home, or is trying to have her for dessert:)

I usually assume the man wants to jump into bed, and I'm not comfortable going to a guy's home til I know him pretty well.

Your thoughts (men and woman please)

This is just a general question I've always wondered about.

- Asked by lasuz, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Medical / Dental

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I wouldn't go to a man's house on a first or second date. Look at what happened to Lana Clarkson with Phil Spector. Just that case alone should scare the crap out of any woman. Anyone is capable of anything and you should always go with your gut. It's usually the right decision.

- Response by j24w, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Retired

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Could be all of the above. Why speculate? Play it safe. If you feel comfortable enough to have dinner in his home, do so. If not, don't. I personally have taken this route simply because i felt comfortable enough to invite her over to my place...and I love to cook! It made for a much more intimate and relaxing setting with everything in our control...music, lighting...wine, etc. :) It can make for a very romantic and relaxing evening....when in the presence of a gentleman...you will be treated as a lady. :)

- Response by blackwind, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Dallas, Technical

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I'm not comfortable going to a guy's home til I know him pretty well.

Thats really your answer , you should know someone very well before going alone to their home for dinner.
If you have any suspicions of anything being uncomfortable about going there-do have a friend keep the address and have them call you there 20 minutes after you arrive to make sure that youre ok.

The friend checkin on you and having the address is a back up.If things get weird you can always tell the friend COME get me. And Use them as the excuse to leave-say they had an emergency or something.

Yes some nice guys really would like to just make you a nice dinner, but with a stranger NO. Find out who they are much longer before you go alone to their HOME.And use a pal as a backup just in case.

Good Luck,in this.

- Response by lovinandhopeful, A Hippie Chick, Female, 56-65, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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I think it is sweet that he is going to cook dinner for you, and I wouldn't jump to conclusions. It is still up to you whether you feel comfortable going there or suggesting something else and if he initiates sex and you don't want it just say NO.

- Response by irisrosesc, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Administrative

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It depends on the man. I think that, in most cases, he is trying to welcome you into the most private part of his life and afford you an opportunity to see who he is by visiting his home. If you are instinctively uncomfortable with a particul man, you should have that same feeling about being with him no matter where you go. If you get that feeling with ALL men who make such an invitation, the problem is yours, not theirs.

- Response by secretsquirrel13, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Minneapolis, Other Profession

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If we have talked and know each other I wouldn't mind going to his house for dinner any time... I don't presume before hand that anything is happening for a reason... Just maybe that he is more relaxed in his own enviroment, maybe he loves to cook and is trying to impress you and maybe he does want to jump your bones but you can put a stop to that... I try to always believe in people and that they don't have an underlying motive...

- Response by lostnsc, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Retired

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If we have talked and know each other I wouldn't mind going to his house for dinner any time... I don't presume before hand that anything is happening for a reason... Just maybe that he is more relaxed in his own enviroment, maybe he loves to cook and is trying to impress you and maybe he does want to jump your bones but you can put a stop to that... I try to always believe in people and that they don't have an underlying motive...

- Response by lostnsc, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Retired

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I doubt he is too cheap to pay for dinner. It is either to show off his cooking skills, to have more privacy as he gets to know her, or because he wants to put the moves on her.

A gentleman would wait longer before pulling this sort of move, to awkward for the lady.

- Response by falconf1, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Ottawa, Who Cares?

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All of the above.

Who wants to spend money when they have the talent to make an awesome dinner at home? And if you're a straight man, which it sounds like he is...why wouldnt he want her for dessert? The're really not too much to read into....

- Response by nedster, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Los Angeles

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It could mean he just loves to cook and is good at it and is trying to impress you. Also, may want more privacey and less distraction. It is easier to get to know someone in a quiet setting without a lot of people walking around, waiters interrupting convo etc. He could be low on cash too. But it could also mean he can put on nice dinner music and you can dance a little and it can be a little more romantic of a setting than hustle, bustle of a restaurant. Last, but not least, he is hoping for a little more than just dinner but maybe not quite what you are thinking. Maybe he just wants to put his arms around you and kiss a little. Doesn't mean sex, necessarily. This is just my opinion but it is still anyone's guess and depends on the man.

- Response by goldenoldie, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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I think this is a terrific question!

I think it depends on the guy...I can see how a man who is a homebody and loves to cook would feel more comfortable at home, and may not necessarily have any sort of hidden agenda. For a single woman, though, that may not even be SAFE; I think I'd want to know a guy fairly well before I was alone with him (though when I was single [read "young" and "dimwitted"] I never worried about such things), and would prefer being out in a public place.

I guess I'd say that, as a general rule, public dates would be my preference, until the fourth date or so, but rules are made to be broken!

- Response by recynd, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Administrative

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Interesting!
The idea he had ulteria motives would have never crossed my mind.
It takes a lot of work to prepare a meal at home...I think.
It would be easier for most guys (and gals!) to take the date out.
I would be enchanted with someone who prepared a meal for me!


- Response by gettingstronger, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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Not a mind reader...but...better off going to a public place first few dates. We are living is perilous time with crazy people. Going to a hime is intimate and can open doors to things you might be comfortable about plus it's HIS home he has the upper hand. I would not be comfortable with that arrangement. Go out, see what he is like with waiters and in public. He should spend money on you and take you out.
I think you have good instincts that is why you are confirming what you feel inside.

- Response by shaloma, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Typically men invite you over to their house when they are ready to take the relationship to a physical level...regardless of where you are at. I typically do not accept an invite to a man's home unless I am ready for the possibility that it could go there and I want that to happen.

If you are not ready for that then suggest a more public, neutral setting where sex could not be an option and if he balks then you know he is out for one thing.

>Some< men test you to see what you will accept and how soon they can stop paying for dates out and start hanging out for free.

- Response by clip22, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Executive

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