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Boyfriend has naked pictures of ex...
Sex & Intimacy / 8:43 AM - Thursday October 25, 2007

Boyfriend has naked pictures of ex...

What does it mean when my boyfriend of two + years has naked risky pictures of an ex-girlfriend that he refuses to get rid of? Also, I don't think it is possible for him to get on the internet without looking up porn. What do you think? Should I be worried? Is this a serious problem? Or am I making a big deal out of nothing?

- Asked by hollaback63, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Charlotte, Administrative

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You could ask him if he'd get rid of the pics of his ex if you take some naked riskay pics of yourself for him. Maybe that would help. The pics of the ex are wierd and they would definately bother me too. I wouldn't worry too much about the internet porn... after all he is a guy. Have you asked him why he won't get rid of them... maybe he wants to keep them for blackmail or something.

- Response by smalltown29, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Minneapolis, Financial / Banking

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Big deal outta' nothing.

The naked ex-pics are good, in that at least they're not floating around on the internet..... yet...... and besides, they're kinda' like "trophies" for him, that they'd allow him to have taken them, in th first place.

And as for porn in general. . . . he's a MAN..... don't sweat it, unless he starts making comparisons or asking you to use the fuckingmachine or calling him "Daddy", or something really kinky....

- Response by bytor, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Artist / Musician / Writer

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i don't think its right he has naked pictures of his ex,i would make him rip them or burn them right in front of you,sounds like to me hes a pervert,move on your young and pretty you could do better,good luck

- Response by chevys1, A Creative, Female, 36-45

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Would you rather your man cheat on you, or use pornography and masturbation to quench his natural urges? It's up to you. ;-)

- Response by horsepowerjunky, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35

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In regards to what another member suggested...maybe he is keeping them for blackmail or something...and THATS when you should be worried...what kind of person keeps something like that just to hurt someone else? It creepy and not the type of guy you should be around.

- Response by minx82, A Trendsetter, Female, Who Cares?, Fitness

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I can see your concern about the pics of his ex, but at this point, if he's not still talking to his ex, or showing any other signs that he still wants his ex, I wouldn't worry about it. As far as him watching porn, don't worry about that, either, unless it starts to have a negative effect on his social life.

- Response by nytewulf, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Naked, risque pix of his ex? Ummm, he needs to get over her and get rid of it.

- Response by keldog4511, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Managerial

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Here is the problem with your question... you are asking if this should be a problem. The real issue is that it already bugs you!! Views on porn are relative you could get a million responses either way in regard to this question. The only thing that matters is whether you are comfortable or not. If you feel respected or not! This is your yardstick for what is ok.Often times in a situation like this 'we' as females try to reason away from our own intuition. We only need to know if we are comfortable, safe and happy to determine our own direction. Please hear me tell you.. IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE IT IS NOT OK. Period.. nothing further to discuss. This is not the type of thing you should negotiate with yourself or a time when you should do some growing.. either it is ok or it is not. All this is not to say to throw the guy out of your life.. but to say your level of respect and comfort with your boyfriend is your yardstick for what is acceptable. Perhaps a conversation is in order.

- Response by bford7, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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I don't it is possible for any man to not look at internet porn because everyone tells them how great it is. As far as pictures of the ex go, does he give a reason why he wants to keep them? He probably doesn't see the harm in peeking at them occassionally especially if they are risque. It probably is like looking at any other picture of that nature to him. I would just keep an eye open and if the porn gets to be too often tell him how you feel. The picture is just a picture unless he still has feelings. Men are possessive of their things and also do not want any woman (even when they love her) telling them what to do.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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I have one picture of an ex-gf, and it's more of an art shot than anything.

I know what my ex wife and ex girlfriends look like, I don't need any pictures. Well, I don't have any *risky* pictures of them anyway, but I doubt I'd hold on to them if I did.

- Response by rostoff, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

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Having an "nude"?pic of an ex-girlfriend could mean he still have some form of "lingering attachment" for her.Maybe not,and it's only a memory. But,as for me internet porno has made me decrease on the frequency of having sex with my wife and has started to create a lack of confidence in my performance. I have made an honest effort to stop watching porno too often in order to improve my sexual attentions to my wife,I don't want her looking for satisfaction somewhere else!

- Response by A Creative, Female, 56-65, Los Angeles, Managerial

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In July you asked about him not being as interested in sex as you are. Now this. He is substituting porn for the attention he should be giving to you. I think this is very serious. No you are not making a big deal out of nothing. Time to move on girl.

- Response by julieann, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I would have him burn, rip up, throw away, do whatever he has to do, but get rid of that picture, there is no resonable explanation that he would be holding on to it, also I'm so sick of hearing people say that the Porn thing is okay because he's a guy, WTF does that have to do with anything, if it offends you in anyway (which it obviously) does and with good reason as far as i'm concerned then he should not be doing it.. just because he's a guy it does not justify him hurting your feelings and crushing your self esteem...

- Response by sexy6936, A Player, Female, 29-35, Boston

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depends does he have a life outside of porn on internet. If he is watching porn all day and every day then he needs help..

- Response by something, A Jock, Male, 29-35, Atlanta, Other Profession

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If he cannot get on the net wihtout looking, then yes he has a problem, sounds like he is addicted.

As for the pics of an ex-gf. I got rid of almost all of my ex-gf pics when i broke up with each GF. And nude ones I owuld make sure I destroyed.

- Response by falconf1, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Ottawa, Who Cares?

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Your making a big deal out of nothring. Much better for you to get with him looking at porn and use it for foreplay for the both of you. My first wife was the one who wanted porn videos -- that was before Internet. We had some pretty good times.

Instead of bitching at your BF, it would be more fun for you to enjoy his company.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Yes it is a problem > porn can be an addiction and it erodes men's respect for women in general. Women become objectified by the process. I think he is already addicted. Not a good thing. Refusing to give up is pictures. Do research on this. It was prevalant enough for you to notice. That means it is a problem.

- Response by trekker2, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Consulting

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