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Friend/Boyfriend
Friend/Boyfriend / Dating / 1:03 PM - Saturday October 20, 2007
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A Creative (Female, 22-25, Fitness) asked:


My boyfriend has jealousy issues when it comes to me and my best male friend. I had known and been close to my friend for years before I even met my boyfriend, and he knew what our relationship was like before he started dating.

It's not that I don't understand WHY he's jealous. It's just human instinct, I think. What I'm wondering is whether there's a way to keep my boyfriend happy without sacrificing my relationship with my friend.

Thoughts?


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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Seattle, 46-55) answered:

Screenname: mamom04


Invite your boyfriend on activities you do with your longterm male friend. Allow him the opportunity to get to know this guy and see firsthand how you interact together. If there is really no need to feel jealous, hopefully your bf will see that.

The jury is still out on my feelings about "close" different sex friendships. I've always thought they were possible, and they certainly were on my end. However, I don't live in a mans mind, and the older I get, and the more I hear, I'm not so sure anymore.

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A Creative (Female, Atlanta, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: thelovedovefor1


I really don't think there's anything you can do. Because, as you stated it's your bf's jealousy issues. Now, you said you understand why he's jealous. That is where you start. Ask him what is it that he's not liking about your relationship with your male friend. Men know men. He might sense something about this friend that let him know that this friend is more interested in you then you think. Or, he's just insecure. Does this friend look better than he? More successful? Single? The issue is with your bf. So, he has to honestly discuss with you why he feels the way he does.

I think your bf thought he would be the "best" in your life as a whole, including friend. So, maybe you need to lessen the role this male friend is playing in your life. And, instead give it to the bf. I'm not saying give up on your friendship. However, when you get in a serious relationship with someone. Those friendships have to give up the front seat and sit in the back. I don't care how long before the bf or gf you knew the other person. It's a little saddening I know. But, that is just a phase of life that has to change. Just like singles adjusting to married life, or divorcees and widows adjusting. It isn't easy. But, it has to happen.

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A Player (Male, 22-25, Fitness) answered:

Screenname: livestrong23


Being a little jealous is okay, but getting jealous to the point of hurting someone or when it starts affecting a relationship, is not cool. May be either he has to grow up and accept the fact that he IS your bf, but you do have other friends, or he will learn that eventually the hard way.

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, 66 or older, Retired) answered:

Screenname: joat


Try to throw them into contact with each other to enjoy things
they both like. Let them become friends also. That should end the problem.

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A Thinker (Female, 36-45, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: kc97


I believe men and women can be just friends but, sometimes our partners can see things about the other person we can't. Or maybe u should always include him in ur outings phone calls and really everything if plan to make it work without having him be a part of this friendship he may feel like u have a private life that doesn't include hm just try and wear the shoe if it were u just always consider how u would feel if it were u. I wish the best and good luck
KC

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A Thinker (Female, 46-55) answered:


You never said if there was ever any type of romantic relationship with your best male friend. The answer to your question would depend on the answer to that question.

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A Creative (Male, Los Angeles, 36-45, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: goddard


A relationship is two people, not two people and her best male friend.

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, Seattle, 56-65, Construction) answered:

Screenname: greenwind


He's jealous because he doesn't like being two-timed. Frankly, I can't blame him.

[Hint: There is no such thing as "just friends" between men and women.]

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A Guy Critical (Male, 46-55) answered:

Screenname: antijunkie


the thing is WE do not know why he is jealous i think i would add that to the question first them we could answer better

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