DEAR FRIEND; YOUR STORY IS THE SAME PROBLEM THAT APROX. 90% OF THE POPULATION OF THE U.S. IS FACING RIGHT NOW.- (THE OTHER 10% SIMPLY DO NOT CARE WHAT THEIR CHILDREN DO).-
I ADMIRE YOU FOR THE WAY YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER, - NO MATTER HOW OLD SHE IS, SHE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR DAUGHTER, AND NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER.-
BELIEVE ME I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THOUGH.- I AM THE MOTHER OF 2 SONS AND HAVE 3 GRANDCHILDREN.- THANK GOD, HIS FATHER AND I DID A GOOD JOB AND NOW THEY ARE TOO BUSSY WITH THEIR OWN FAMILIES.- (THEY LAUGH NOW WHEN I SAY THAT GRANDCHILDREN ARE THE GRANDPARENT'S REVENGE !!!)BUT BELIEVE ME, IT WASN'T EASY WHEN THEY WHERE GROWING UP AND THOUGHT THEY KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT LIFE. THEY BOTH LIVED WITH US UNTIL THEY GOT MARRIED, SINCE WE HAVE A HUGE HOUSE, AND COLLEGE WAS VERY NEARBY,-BUT THEY KNEW THEY HAD TO FOLLOW OUR RULES OR GET OUT.
IN MY OPINION, WHEN THEY REACH THAT AGE, AND ACT AS YOUR DAUGTHER IS ACTING, THERE IS ONLY ONE THING YOU CAN DO.- PRAY TO GOD THAT NOTHING BAD HAPPENS TO HER.- PUT HER IN "GOD'S" HANDS, AND HOPE FOR THE BEST.- THERE IS NO USE TO TRY TO CHANGE HER, SINCE SHE WILL NOT CHANGE HER HABITS.-
YOU ARE JUST AGONIZING ABOUT SOMETHING YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SOLVE. SHE IS GOING THROUGH THAT STAGE IN LIFE WHERE SHE WANTS TO BE INDEPENDENT, BUT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS.-
IT IS TIME TO "LET GO", AND LET HER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER OWN ACTIONS. SHE WILL LEARN, SOONER OR LATTER.- AND ONE DAY SHE WILL THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE FOR HER.
I AM A WRITER.- I WRITE ARTICLES FOR SOME NEWSPAPERS AND MAGAZINES, HAVE ALSO WRITTEN SOME BOOKS. THE FOLLOWING IS AN ARTICLE I WROTE ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO.- I HOPE IT HELPS YOU SOME.
MY VERY BEST RGDS., AND GOOD LUCK.
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WHAT REALLY "MEANS" BEING A GOOD MOTHER ???
Being a good mother is not only changing diapers and feeding a baby.- This is only the easy stuff,- Anyone can do it., and besides, they are sooooo cute !!!
Being a good mother comes later in life, when the cute baby is no longer a baby.
Being a good mother is understanding that our children "do not belong to us".- They belong to the "World".-
We are only the instrument God chooses to bring them into this world., and guide them safely until they are ready to leave the "nest".-
Being a good mother is gaining your son's or daughter;s trust.
Being a good mother is to listen and understand their points of view.
Being a good mother is placing yourselves in their shoes, unterstanding "peer preasure", living in the present and modern life of this 2nd millennium, and not expect them to live according to our old standards.- Times change, and so must we !!!
Being a good mother is understanding that once they reach "puberty", and sometimes much before that,- they start developing their own personalities, their individual opinions, their instincts, and their concept of what is right and wrong. Their "hormones" start working, and sex becomes a very important part of their every day thoughts.-
The only thing a mother (and father) can do, is try to teach them (not preach to them).- Advice them of the facts of life, talk to them on their own level, as a friend, not as parents.- Do not be afraid to talk about sex and of the pratice of save sex, treat them as if they were adults, not children. Let's face it, sooner or latter they are going to do "it", whether we want it or not.
Explain to them that they are free to do with their lifes as they choose, but make sure they understand what the future will bring if they make the wrong decisions.- Try to explain what is considered right and wrong, and let them know that it will be up to them to either "hold the world in the palm of their hands", or let the world destroy them and crush their future forever.
Being a good mother is understanding their customs and behaviors, and realize that they are no longer babies that we can control like dolls.
Being a good mother is always being there when they need us.-
Being a good mother is understanding their mistakes, no matter how bad they might be., remembering that we are all humans, and humans make mistakes.
Being a good mother is "not judging" after the mistake has been made.- Remembering that only GOD can judge us.- All we can do is try to help, instead of making things worse.-
Being a good mother is knowing that we will love that child for as long as we live, no matter what they do to us.- "and let them know it" !!!!!
Being a good mother is knowing that we must forgive, because in spite of what they might do to you, they will always be a part of you, and when the time comes, you will be ready, willing and able to give your life to save that son or daughter., even if they are no longer children.
All this is what means to me the "proverb" of being a good mother. After all, I was the mother of 2 teenagers.
Maybe, just maybe, if more of us followed these rules, there would be less "Colombine Tragedies", less drugs, less unwanted pregnancies, less violence, and our world would be a better world !!!!!
- Response by edi406
, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Consulting