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Why Do Men Hurt The Women They Love?
Dating / 1:38 PM - Tuesday September 25, 2007

Why Do Men Hurt The Women They Love?

Why does a man hurt the woman they love? It seems the more he loves her the more he hurts her.

Update: September 26, 2007.
I love your answer.

Update: September 26, 2007.
He crushed my feelings the first time. He came around, I trusted him and I let him back in and then he crushed me again. Is he hurting more than me.

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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I hate to burst your bubble, but......it's a 2-way street toots.

- Response by moehoward, A Life of the Party, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Real men don't hurt the women they love. Abusers do. You need to get some help. Contact the DV project or a women's shelter in your area. They can't help you figure out what to do.

- Response by leah178999, An Engaged Girl, Female, 29-35, Atlanta, Student

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some people hurt others with malicious intent and they desire to hurt someone. then you have others who don't intend to hurt someone they are supposed to care about but do anyway. that is usually because their needs and wants surpass those they profess to love and care about. sounds as if this man loves himself more than the woman. If someone truly loves another then they do not put their own needs above the person they care about.

- Response by tpalenque, A Sportif, Female, 36-45, Birmingham, Civil Service

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It is unavoidable, you always hurt the ones you love simply because you are so close to them.

- Response by tobyfan, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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It is unavoidable, you always hurt the ones you love simply because you are so close to them.

- Response by tobyfan, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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in loving someone and opening your heart to them, you risk being hurt

and all of us WILL be hurt at some point because we are all fallible - whether the other person intends to hurt us or not

anyway, you havent said why or how he is hurting you, but if you are being hurt on a regular basis then something is "wrong" in your relationship

best of luck :o)

- Response by anonymouse32, An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21

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I believe if a man truly loves a woman, he will not hurt her... Simple as that.

- Response by moonhowler7, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Hospitality

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hurt me once shame on you!!!!

hurt me twice shame on me!!!!!

from what you have written I can only think he doesn't really care about you......

if it were me (and I have been in an abusive relationship) I have learned life is too short to be continually hurt and sad I would dump him

- Response by ladeebee, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Rochester, Home Maker

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You are a beautiful person and should walk away if it is a serious issue. He is not ready for a realtionship and you are worth so much more. His hurting is not the issue. Make a list of what it is that you really need in a good realtionship and draw the line. Respect yourself and stick to the list.


- Response by rjpdance, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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I feel that if a man really love you he wont hurt you, but in a argument he might say somethings that hurts you but he dont mean it because sometimes people say anything when they are mad.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25

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Untrue. A man that loves you doesn't hurt you. You have an odd idea of love. That old phrase you hurt the one you love is acceptance of abuse which isn't associated with healthy love. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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That goes both ways. It isn't just men hurting the ones they love. Women are right up there with them and most women will take everything the guy has got!!!!

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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That ISN'T love. That is control, manipulation, cruelty, selfishness... any number of things, but NOT love.

- Response by trawna, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Toronto, Consulting

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Is this a case of you screaming at him for 30 mins about something trivial and then he had the audacity to finally snap and say something mean? My point is, we all hurt the ones around us unintentionally and we usually do it because we've let our guard down around that person and in doing we drop some of our Standard Politeness (that we might show a boss/stranger, etc). Then when we get mad, we don't suggarcoat what we have to say. I say "we", I mean Everyone... men and women do it.

- Response by amegioa, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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It is called boundries.

- Response by dambreaker, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Retired

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It is impossible to NOT hurt a woman. Her own need for drama causes her to look for insults in his actions and words, even when there isn't any reason to.

You hurt because you want to hurt yourself, and you look for reasons to blame him. A man can be sitting on the couch watching TV and you'll find some excuse as to why it's hurting you.

- Response by A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55

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