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Why, older men....?
Sex & Intimacy / 7:46 PM - Tuesday July 31, 2007

Why, older men....?

Why is it that whenever I meet a charming, sexy, macho older guy that I like, he gets sensitive whenever I know something he doesn't and tends to pull back? It's not like I beat people over the head with literary stuff--I just mention things as they happen to come up.

I'm asking this question because it seems that most of the men my age and younger seem totally cool with demonstrating complete ignorance of any and every subject. Even (most of) my colleagues aren't embarrassed if they don't know something, and they're in my discipline (English Studies).

It just seems like the sexy "Bruce Willis" type just doesn't like it if a girl is attractive and also well versed in an area he hasn't studied that much or that long. :(

Update: August 01, 2007.
Someone please C-Star pandorasfault. Really great answer. Thanks.

Update: July 31, 2007.
bailaren, what do you think "mention things AS THEY COME UP"(emphasis added) means? Geez. Some people have inadequate male type problems. :(

- Asked by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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I think a lady that is well versed in tons of areas makes her very exciting because of what she knows, understands and would mean conversations between us would last for hours

- Response by e43701, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Columbus, Teaching

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Intellectual insecurity. It's that simple. People like Bailarenfuego are prime examples. Anyone possessing a larger vocabulary than his, particularly if she actually uses that vocabulary in normal, everyday speech, MUST be trying to lord it over him. It's the sadly distorted logic of one crippled by intellectual insecurities and a consequent loathing for 'brainy' types and academicians. Hopefully Bailar stays away from such types, but I do know of men who intentionally target brainy women, because they enjoy the challenge of breaking them down.

I have found that's it's not really an age thing. I've known men my own age or younger who have no problems with smarts and intellect (or they find those qualities downright sexy), as well as those who see red with each historical reference or word that is not known and used by the lowest common denominator. I've known older men on both sides of that equation, too.

What may be going on with older men, if you are running into more of those with that animosity than not, is that they are wrongly assuming they possess an advantage over you, and his *likes* having that advantage. In some men's minds (particularly the intellectually and socially insecure), 'older' is supposed to mean wiser, smarter, more intellectual, more accomplished, better read, more experienced, etc., etc., etc. You bely that.

Hone your intellectual insecurity radar and go for men who are not burdened with that crippling disorder. I promise you, there are plenty of witty, brainy, undamaged men out there who get hot and bothered (in a good way) over brainy chicks.

- Response by pandorasfault, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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I think people who go out of their way to discuss topics that it isn't reasonable to assume the person they are talking with would know and people who use inappropriately rare, specialized or obscure words are trying to make the person they are talking with feel dumb. If you really teach then you of all people should know how to communicate and engaging in that sort of behavior would be inexcusable. Maybe older men can see through it and have less tolerance for it.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Technical

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