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Bitchy wife
Married Life / 9:05 AM - Sunday July 15, 2007

bitchy wife

sometimes when my wife gets bitchy i just dont know how to handle it. she had a problem at work and was really complaining about it. I listened for a while, and tried to give suggestions, but she just was getting angry about it, getting angry was not going to help and besides, i cant see why she just did not let it go, she works herself up about it, till she is just really bitchy to me and the kids, i am not sure what to do at that point, then she just gets mad at us all

- Asked by frycook, A Career Man, Male, 46-55, Food Service

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listen and sympathize. women do not go to men to get their problems fixed. they go to be heard. let her know you are listening (repeat her a little. say I understand you feel like ....). she just wants to be heard iwth a little sympathy.

- Response by atenderheart42, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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We men make this mistake All the time.9 times out of ten when she's telling you about a problem,she Is Not looking for a solution.She wants you to understand how she feels about and to validate or recognize her feelings.

- Response by tianoga, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Well I would tell her that she has your undivided attention about the issue for 15 minutes. She can bitch all she wants for 15 minutes and you will listen and give her your complete attention. Let her vent as much as she wants in that 15 minutes and do not try to solve the problem. Just keep quiet and let her get it off her chest. You can do this for her every day, but she has to honor the 15 minutes. She can't go on longer than that. It will help her alot. Most men try to offer solutions when a woman is complaining about something, but most women don't want solutions. They just want you to listen. So listen for 15 minutes but no longer. After that she'll just start repeating herself and obsessing and you shouldn't have to listen to that any longer.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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What happen at work? Maybe she has heard rumors from others or over heard something that she thought was about her, but really was about someone else??
Could you give me some better details, and I will do my best to advise you....

- Response by yurdreamis, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Men and women are very different when it comes to communication styles and conflict resolution. Women like empathy when they speak. Men want resolution. In a sense, they like to "fix things".

The best thing you can do when she "rants" is to listen and NOT offer a SOLUTION to her problem. Often when my husband offers solutions on how to fix or change something that is bothering me, it makes me feel like I am making too much of it and it makes me angry.

- Response by tobyfan, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Sounds like she is really stressed from her job or could it be something else bothering her? Moms can get so overwhelmed with house stuff and working...maybe she needs a vacation or some time alone..don't be offended if she wants time for herself..women need space too!

- Response by ladybug000, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, New Orleans, Medical / Dental

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1) Men and women are different. Women vent and talk about how something makes them feel They don't want solutions, they just want someone to listen and support them here & there.

2) If she can't handle the stressors at work to the point of uncontrollable anger at others, especially her kids, she needs to quit and get a different job and also needs some counseling to stop abusing those around her.

- Response by arabella, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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You just gotta let her vent out some steam. No need to say anything except the occasional nod and "ok." Once she's calmed herself down, that's when you can talk to her. But don't butt in while she's ranting otherwise you'll fuel the fire. My mother was like that. As kid I just learned to stay away from mom when's she's in her moods. Your kids probably get the picture, as well.

- Response by lildivine, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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how about you just stop being a bitch??? Evryone everyday has stress, some more then others, some ampilify it to make everyone feel sorry for them, some suck it up and deal with it bc that is life and weather you lik eit or not you will always be stressed always be hurt always have to do somethin gyou dont want. Yes I do agree venting is a good thing, but did you bitchy females ever think about this...After A man puts up with your bitchyness for 6 months a year 50 years whatever, it gets old, its always the same stuff...GROW UP!

- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 26-28

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Sounds like she's not getting enough recognition at home or at work. Try giving her a little extra attention and saying thank you for all she does, you think she's great etc......I few little words go a long way in how a person feels about themselves. We have such power to influence the lives of others, sometimes we overlook that.

- Response by samantha16, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Milwaukee, Self-Employed

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