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My boyfriend won't give oral sex
Sex & Intimacy / 2:42 PM - Thursday April 05, 2007

My boyfriend won't give oral sex

How can I get my guy to go down on me? He refuses and won't give me a straight answer on why not. Even after a shower or bath, he still won't. He doesn't even want to do 69. I give him blowjobs about 3 times a week and it really bothers me that he won't return the favour. What gives?

Update: April 05, 2007.
Just to set the record straight, I am totally bare, wash it more times every day than I care to say, which is on top of my daily shower, and use scented lotion all over my body. I am very clean down there. He even admitted I'm clean and that's not the problem. Past boyfriends have said I'm pleasant down there. We are very attracted to each other--we usually have sex at least once a day. He says I'm sexy and beautiful often. So this makes it all the more frustrating. We tried watching a porn movie with oral action and he just said "it's gross that someone would spend that much time down there". I don't understand him at all.

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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We are in the reverse situation......I suck my wife off about that often and she will go down on me but never finishes me.....neck gets "too tired".....I need to do something to speed myself up! If I were you, I would cut them back and say "Quid Pro Quo" to him!

Good luck!

- Response by kanaka, A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, Dallas, Executive

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Community Rating: Community Star

This is going to sound funny, but I'm not trying to be..

My best guy friend won't do it now because he was "blasted" by an ex. She literally cut a wet, nasty, juice producing fart when he was down there. Now, he's too grossed out to even go anywhere near that area.

Maybe he was "traumatized" by a past experience or was raised to think that it was nasty...ask him.

- Response by texasgal1200, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, San Antonio, Who Cares?

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It does not necessarly mean he dosn't like the way you smell!! see prior response. He may just not be comfertable doing it, has he ever done it before? Some people may precieve it as being nasty, i don't know his reason, tell him it really bothers you and ask for a explanation.

- Response by stefbre2002, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Columbus, Administrative

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Some guys just don't like it. Slow down on the bj's and see if he's more willing.

- Response by rexy67, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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It may not have anything to do with smell at all, some men just don't like it just like some women don't like giving blow jobs.
Or maybe he has no experience with it and is afraid to try.

Try asking him straight out why he won't, maybe you'll get an answer that works for both of you or an answer that can eventually make it happen.

Good luck!

- Response by sweetnovember, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Executive

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You should stop giving him head. Tell him if he wants some sugar, he gotta return some ... then just **slowly spread your legs** ... I think he would get the picture.

- Response by lotusle82, A Creative, Female, 66 or older, Seattle, Who Cares?

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Stop giving what you don't get. That is how it goes girlfriend. No lickee = no suckee!

- Response by msheartbeat, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, San Francisco, Self-Employed

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I don't understand him either. I think that going down on a woman is one of the most exciting parts of sex. It really turns ME on when I go down on my wife. I love how she reacts differently depending upon how softly I lick her, or how I flick my tongue gently, or use my mouth and lips to suck at her softly, etc. I try to surprise her.. tease her a bit.. and keep her guessing.. always : )

I think your guy is being selfish or just has some weird hang-up that has NOTHING to do with you! You can do better!

Good luck!

Ed

- Response by 2542, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Political / Government

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I think it is true that it is personal preference. My X wife did not like me munching on her, but she loved to suck and swallow. With certain other types I had no interest, than bam.... someone comes along and thats all you can think about. The current relationship, she just loves it as do I, but she won't return the pleasure. She says cum is disgusting. We have had alot of dialog, but she holds firm that she will not... She is also not very motivated at all. But guess what, I like what I can do and appreciate having her to do it with.... sure beats watching TV.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 56-65, Phoenix, Who Cares?

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you can think of it this way he is getting his.and maybe he thinks because he gives you a little dick then you are sattisfied with just that.i myself dont mind doing it but its a every blue moon thing for me.and to be honest there is nothing wrong with my lady friend.and she goes down on me like 7 or 8 times a week.but she enjoys it and actually gets off sucking my dick.its funny though when i mess with other ladies i will go down on them just to blow there mind and have them comming back for more.i think if you stop making him feel so good giving him blow jobs so much he might get the picture.i was told if he wont do it then another man will.an if done right then you will be going back for more

- Response by harrisdelow, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Law Enforcement

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Stupidity, unintelligent, and bad judgment, lacking intelligence or quickness of mind, brainlessness, denseness, density, doltishness, dopiness, dullness (also dullness), dumbness, fatuity, foolishness, mindlessness, oafishness, obtuseness, senselessness, simpleness, slowness, stupidness, vacuity, witlessness, absurdity, asininity, balminess, craziness, daftness, folly, idiocy, inanity, insanity, lunacy, madness, nonsensicalness, nuttiness, preposterousness, silliness, simplicity, wackiness, zaniness; fallacy, irrationality, unreasonableness, acumen, alertness, astuteness, discernment, insight, poor judgment, perception, perspicacity; sagacity, sapience, wisdom, wit; logicalness, rationality, reasonableness, soundness, validity. Pick one, in layman’s terms he’s a DUMB ASS.



- Response by dambreaker, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Retired

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Quit giving what he won't give.

- Response by jezmebaby, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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Here's a novel idea...he just doesn't like it.

Lots of women out there don't like giving head.

Why wouldn't men be allowed to not like going down on a woman? You can't force him to like it. You can't force him to do it.

I personally love doing it. But if a guy doesn't like it, then that's that.

- Response by therespectable, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 22-25, Toronto, Financial / Banking

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sounds to me like uve done about all u can. its not u its him. some guys just dont like oral. just like some girls dont give bjs. my current man only does oral on me maybe like once a year. so ur not alone.

- Response by rachele36, A Player, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Medical / Dental

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It is one of two things... He is clueless as how to do it, or he is just selfish.(or both)..There is nothing gross about it.

- Response by humpdaddy, A Jock, Male, 46-55, Columbus, Other Profession

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You need to wake up, he doesn't have ANY problem about your vagina or it's cleanliness at all he is just lazy and can't be bothered to return the favour that you do-without any question-up to 3 times a week, can't you see what he's doing? he's just using you and being selfish, I hope you realize this and refuse to play this silly little game with such a pig-headed guy in future, unless he does it for you, you should never do it for him, he says you'r clean so whats the problem, it worries me that you go and wash yourself thoroughly to please him and persuade him and he still refuses and he lets you believe it's your fault-and what does he mean by saying 'it's gorss someone would spend all that time down there' thats a lie! if you give someone oral sex does it matter how long it takes? time isn't the issue, for god's sake wake up and get this loser out of your life he's so pathetic

- Response by nico88, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Stop going down on him.

- Response by ballzdeep318, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Chicago, Science / Engineering

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The only thing I can suggest is that sex shops sell these very thin "sheet" type things that he can put between your body and his mouth. It allows the sensations etc., but keeps his mouth clean (for lack of a better way to say it). If he can't satisfy you, then I wouldn't bother doing him either. Very selfish!

- Response by fivesons, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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He must be gay...find someone that will eat...stop the blow jobs now...

- Response by nashbar77, A Couch Potato, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

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He doesnt like the way you smell...simple.Hes too afraid to tell you.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Vancouver, Who Cares?

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Tell him if he doesn't go down on you, you are not going to go down on him.

- Response by auditmoney, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Las Vegas, Financial / Banking

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Has he ever done it before? Maybe he's scared.

- Response by olderwoman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Pittsburgh

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I give him blowjobs about 3 times a week and it really bothers me that he won't return the favour

I give him blowjobs about 3 times a week

I give him blowjobs about 3 times a week

I give him blowjobs about 3 times a week

I give him blowjobs about 3 times a week

I give him blowjobs about 3 times a week

I give him blowjobs about 3 times a week

I give him blowjobs about 3 times a week



Need I say more?

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

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i think you need to ask him directly, we cant answer this question for him, you two need to be able to communicate all to each other, concerns especially in the bedroom. now, you said you go down on him 3xs a wk and it bothers you he wont return the favor, so my question to you is, is that the only reason you go down on him? because you want him to do it to you? if so, you're so mistaken, you go doown on him because you like it, because you want it, not because you expect something in return, i think alot of females out there do this, and its just plain wrong, how are you grooming habits down there? are you clean shaven, trimmed, or old fashion jungle? i think this matters alot as well, you gotta make yourself look appetizing. good luck to you.

- Response by proudlatina, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Administrative

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Simple if he ain't licking it, he ain't sticking it!.

- Response by p0pc0rn, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Boston, Self-Employed

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It's not your fault. You need to accept the reality that you're dating a selfish lover who simply doesn't care about pleasing you in any other way than normal sex. Find a better man.

- Response by greekattorney, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Political / Government

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