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Active Questions

Sex & Intimacy / 9:20 PM - Tuesday March 06, 2007



Did kids ruin your sex life?

They did mine with my now ex-wife, we went from 3+ times a week to once a month if I was lucky.

Now that I divorced her, I have an amazing sex life with my gf.



playa1 out

Update: March 08, 2007.
Oh btw, I didn't "bail" on my marriage as has been alleged by some. My ex has borderline personality disorder, and life with her was a living hell. I went to counseling 3 different times for several months and it was the therapist who told me that she was using sex as a weapon. So don't assume you know me. playa1 out

- Asked by playa1, A Player, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Kids didn't ruin my sex ex did. The moment we said "I do", she said "I don't think so."

Like you, now that I have a girlfriend, my sex life is fantastic.

- Response by schmuck169, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45

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They are currently interfering and delaying, but I would not say ruining. Life will get better once they're out of diapers.

- Response by sportsman48126, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45

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Community Rating: Community Star

It wasn't the kids for me it was the incompatability. A freak and and nun just can't have a great sex life.

- Response by atticus, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Atlanta, Managerial

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No, having kids did not ruin our sex life. Slowed it down for a time, but that's natural. I didn't have the energy, and also it's hard to switch from 'mommy role' to 'lover' sometimes. But it comes back. I think it's sad that you baled on your marriage for that reason. Had you been a loving and supportive husband, you would eventually be back to a good sex life with your wife, and have tighter bonds too. Of course you have a great sex life with your girlfriend; you erased the reality and stress from your life. But is a good sex life really all you want?

- Response by makinit40, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Marrying & having kids with a woman is a surefire way to kill a woman's libido. I advize men: don't do it!

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35

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Having kids didn't ruin it for me. It was dealing with his son (my two are older) and how he acts/treats me while his damn dad does hardly anything to back me up b/c he's too busy playing on his computer or watching TV ignoring his kid (we only have his kid on Christmas break and during the summer).

- Response by jeepfan43, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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I have 3 kids and I can tell you very honestly NO! Ou sex life is still very active and healthy!

- Response by happy1981, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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i have a ten month old son and i can say my sex life is shit! i have been not having sex with my wife for 2 whole months and its really getting to me, i would not like to break the marriage but i dont want to carry on like this, i only have one life. i dont know what to do!

- Response by jackolinu, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Yes of course. The more kids you have also, it prolongs that stage too. Your life is never your own any more. Of course nothing was the same after having kids. However, we can't look back. Everything was right at the time. Would you trade your kids for a decent sex life with your ex? Eventually, it might have burnt out anyway. Why blame the kids?

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older, Philadelphia, Retired

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it didn't ruin it

slowed it down for quite a while...but they're 4 and 6 now, and we're pretty well back on track

- Response by lacygirl, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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No, my son never ruined our sex life. It was slow for sure in the beginning when he was an infant....everyone was overly tired and trying to adjust....that is expected. My sex life is great and has returned to normal since then.

- Response by mominmi, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45

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they did slow it down for a long time...mainly cuz I was so exhausted...I was working full time and had no help in the house...then when they started their activities and had to be schlepped everywhere....however.. ..rarely was it ever 3 times a week with or with out kids...1 or 2 times is more like it

now they are teens and things are much the only thing I worry about is if THEY'RE having a sex life!

- Response by scooper, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Dallas, Who Cares?

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no. i'm engaged to be married with 3 kids, ages 6, 9, and 13. and we have great sex every morning, skip a day here and there. and ALMOST every night. the kids never get in the way. if they happen to knock on the door, we just yell, "be out in a minute!" but the lovin' never stops!

- Response by stmthompson, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Washington, DC, Administrative

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It definitely changed it. I got resentful with my ex because he kept being an ass and complaining that we didn't have enough sex. He complained because there was no sex for a whole month after our daughter was born. The more he complained, the less inclined I was to do it. So it's not so much that having a child changed my sex life, but the fact that he wouldn't accept the changes did. I still have my daughter but now I have a man I want to have sex with, not one I feel obligated to have sex with.

- Response by auntykazz, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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No, then again, we only had one child. We're divorced now, but sex was never the issue.

- Response by lavender, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, San Francisco

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Kids didn't ruin your sex had children and it happened to negatively affect it. You sound extremely self involved and bitter toward your children. THEY are not 'responsible' for your shitty sex are!

- Response by lovable077, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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