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I don't like them
I don't like them / Friendship / 8:07 PM - Sunday February 04, 2007
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(Female, 29-35) asked:


if you disliked your best-friends signifigant other would you tell them. I hated my best friends husband and didn't tell her until after she split with him. She told me after I decided to leave my husband that she never thought he was the right one for me. Do best friends have a "sense" about these things


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A Sportif (Female, Los Angeles, 22-25, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: tayla


wow.. that's a good question.. Personally.. I think that you have the right to.. & that it'd be a good idea to tell them of the qualities that you dislike.. but I don't think you'd be a good friend if you battered the guy.

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A Married Girl (Female, Philadelphia, 46-55, Teaching) answered:

Screenname: rosekohn


Yes. You are friends for a reason, have like interests perhaps. So it makes sense that a friend would pick up on things that way. However, being a good friend, she wouldn't ever come between you two by voicing her opinion...until you broke up on your own. That makes lots of sense. Good friends are forever.

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A Creative (Female, 36-45, Transportation) answered:

Screenname: rainey


Oh yeah!!!! No doubt.

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A Life of the Party (Female, Washington, DC, 22-25) answered:

Screenname: danawalker


While I may not like someone a friend is dating, if the guy/girl makes my friend happy...who am I to be critical. Likely, I'll just seem cynical and jealous and won't be taken seriously. I'm all about my friends being happy, over my own opinions.

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A Hippie Chick (Female, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: lacygirl


i don't think anyone tells you while you're still together.

when i was close to splitting with my husband this summer, my whole family was celebrating, and telling me all these horrible things he had done and said when i wasn't around....YEARS after they happened!!

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A Married Girl (Female, New York, 36-45, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: alto456


Yes, you can share your feelings with her, but assure her that it is your feelings and you really can't choose for her.

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A Thinker (Female, Seattle, 36-45, Technical) answered:

Screenname: greatescape


I know that infatuation, which leads to marriage (and not love) can blind a person. A friend can be more open to seeing flaws that a person in a relationship may overlook. Passion can alter the mind, causing euphoria to twist the information, too. If she was a good friend, she would have told you during your marriage, and not afterward. Maybe you could have tried to improve the situation. Now, however, it is an entirely different situation. She doesn't have to worry about hurting your feelings, because you are not "hooked up" with him any more. Compliment her on seeing what you overlooked. It can't hurt, matter of fact, it may encourage her to help you see things in your next relationship before it gets carried away down the road to another failed marriage! That would be helpful, wouldn't it?

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