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Am I being selfish?
Am I being selfish? / Career / 10:17 AM - Monday August 28, 2006
A Married Girl (Female, 18-21, Who Cares?) asked:


Is it right for him to change his career plans for me?

He was applying for alot of out of state jobs, since we've been together he has really limited his search to tri-state area. He told me he used to think career was enough to make him happy and that's why he was willing to go anywhere for it but ever since I came into his life he's known that career isn't enough. He said if he left for an otherwise ideal job tomorrow that took him away from me, he wouldn't be ahppy and he knows it so why even look at mediocre opportunities and risk his happiness.

I'm glad he feels this way because I love him too but i feel selfish, even though i've told him he should move wherever is best for him and i'd stay with him. I want him to be happy and have the best chances possible so I feel bad that he might pass some up to be with me.

Selfish or Silly?

Update: August 28, 2006.
Thanks so far guys, just to clarify he is not passing up any dream jobs, he's a sports writer so it's mainly small papers and small colleges...which is not where he wants to be... He would still take an amazing opportunity if it came, i would make him, and we would work through it. He just would rather take a bit less pay and stay in the southeast with me for the next few years til law school.



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A Sweet Sarah (Female, St.Louis, 36-45, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: rexy67


If he decided to do it on his own, then don't feel bad, feel happy he cares about you that much.

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A Rebel (Male, 36-45, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: kindashy1


I think that since you are both looking out for the other person's best interests that it is all good. If you both keep thinking that way then eventually things should work themselves out just fine.

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A Rebel (Male, Cincinnati, 26-28, Celebrity) answered:

Screenname: pepper05


Yeah tough call. Its all cute and shivelry like untill he cant really do what he wants and might secretly blame you for it.

But with the jesture he clearly got his point across and thats really what its all about. Try and get him to go where he needs to go to do what he needs to do. Love isnt about holding back for someone or holding someone back, its about doing what is necessary to ensure growth and positive opportunities.

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A Career Man (Male, 26-28, Internet / New Media) answered:

Screenname: cordo


Selfish or Silly?

Answer : Silly

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An Alternative Girl (Female, New York, 22-25, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: vampiressa


no one should ever change their career plans for another person. seems kinda weak to me. sorry

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A Rebel (Male, 22-25, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: freaktothecore


Seems like you're both looking out for each other. It is his choice, although if he gets a REALLY good job, like an opportunity that comes once every couple of years, you should encourage him to take it.

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