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Sex & Intimacy / 9:00 AM - Sunday May 28, 2006

men and woman

Why would a married man befriend a single woman


Is it always platonic?

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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No, it's rarely platonic.

I have mostly male friends. Some married. Some not.

It's been my experience, and in talking to my male friends, that married guys have one goal in mind - sex.

However they have to act or whatever they have to say to "get in the door", they will. Getting in the door initially means managing to manipulate a woman into letting her guard down.

Most of the married guys I know and most of my married guy friends have cheated. Most of my married guy friends have 'warned' me when they saw a married guy "approach" me...and I thought the married guy's intentions were innocent...my male friends assured me they were not - and even if I let "new married guy friend" in my life anyway, my male friends were right - eventually it lead to the married guy wanting to get sexual with me.

I have one married friend who's cheated on his wife since they married and that was in 1994. I've watched him in action. He approaches someone, or allows them to approach him, and he says, "I've never cheated on my wife," only to eventually have sex with each and every one of them - and each and every one of them thought they were the only one he'd cheated with - he's smooth, he's believable, he's laughs at how easy it is to fool his wife and to fool the women he manages to bed.

So, again, it's been my experience that a married man does NOT befriend a single woman for a platonic friendship - ever. He's looking/hoping for it to become more...he's looking to broaden his sexual horizons.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Atlanta, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Rule #1 to remember when it comes to life is that the words "always" and "never" rarely apply. A married man can certainly befriend a single woman with purely platonic intentions. I have married (or permanently coupled) male friends whose friendships I value and to whose wives I pose absolutely no threat. Our friendship is just that, nothing more, and refreshing for the opportunity to talk, enjoy each other's company and "hang out" without the spectre of the possibility of sex being an issue.

On the other hand, it is just as possible that a married man might befriend a single woman whom he finds attractive to enjoy the opportunity to flirt (and, he hopes, massage his ego). In some of these cases, his intentions end there. In others, he's just waiting for an invitation to cheat. The truth of the matter lies with the individual involved and his particular mindset and set of circumstances.


- Response by Nora1968, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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it can be. my dad has single female friends. doesnt mean he sleeps with any of them. society may assume, man and woman, bedroom thoughts, but such may not be the case.

- Response by heavenly666, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, London, Administrative

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Absolutely not always platonic in my opinion, but I'm really skeptical when it comes to guys and very untrusting.

- Response by txwendy, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Teaching

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Gotta be weary of any 'friends' in my opinion. It's possible to be just friends though, I'd just watch their behavior.

- Response by luckyinkentucky, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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He befriends her to gain a side piece, a jumpoff.....happens everyday. Platonic? I would say not.

- Response by romanticlover007, A Creative, Male, 46-55, New York, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I think a married man would befrienda single woman, if they were a co-worker or if she was a mother and needed help...perhaps? I think that would be between the two individuals, whether it would be platonic or not...and it would depend how close the two of them got to be but I wouldn't dare to say it is "always" platonic

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Houston

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It might start off that way but ends different.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Well I am not exactly sure why a narried man would befriend a single woman unless the woman is a mutual friend of his wife as well. But he mostly likely wants to be your friend because you aren't married. If a married man was trying to befriend me I would be careful and be sure to do things in a group. If I was attracted to this person I would stay away. It is amazing how quicklly a gold band on the left hand can disappear in the eyes of lust.

- Response by divinity, A Career Woman, Female, 22-25, San Diego, Other Profession

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Simply becoz men are polygamous by nature.

- Response by pappukaku, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Delhi, Executive

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I do think it is possible to actualy have a platonic realationship with the opposite sex. But I also think that if it's a friend you had beore the mariage then its ok.
And any friends you make efter the marraige, should compliment both partners alike.

- Response by realman2000, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Norfolk, Medical / Dental

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I used to say no.... Then I started asking some of my male friends.. some of which are married. They said they would sleep with me if I asked... and some of them come out and ask me!
It got me thinking, the guy may say it is platonic... but secretly he may just be hanging around you, b/c he thinks he may eventually get some!
Good Luck

- Response by jessb, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Ottawa, Political / Government

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I would hope so or this man has some issues to work out. If you're hoping that he's going to change his mind don't necissarily get your hopes up.

- Response by pianogal, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Toronto, Student

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not necessarily... depends on the guy... if it were me i'd run! unless, i knew there was no chance of either one of us developing feelings that is! i hate falling for someone i can't have, or having someone who is into me that i would never consider a relationship with... to me that sucks!

- Response by itsjuzmee, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Who Cares?

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There are many reasons a man would befriend a single woman and NO it is not always platonic. However there can be platonic relationship between the two. They could have a similar background, kids in the same activities, work together, go to church together....or they both could be looking for something...short & sweet to satisfy a craving! Anything is possible.

- Response by peanut2774, A Cool Mom, Female, 22-25, Cincinnati, Administrative

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what do u mean befriend?

- Response by huntersmom2003, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Charlotte, Administrative

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