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How should i tell him so he understands (pt. II)
how should i tell him so he understands (pt. II) / Intimacy (Rated-PG) / 8:49 PM - Tuesday February 07, 2006
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A Thinker (Female, 18-21, Who Cares?) asked:


ok so i asked a few days ago about my boyfriend and how i was going to need a break before we settled down in a few years. he knows we arent getting married for years and until after college but he wants to know for sure i will marry him when the time comes. I did tell him about the break and he just sees it as i want to fool around with other guys. i explained to him as best i could and will explain more later. my main thing is he said he shouldnt have to wait until i am ready for the break (i dont want one right now but i will eventually) he says why wait why not do it now. so i said fine lets break now and then it will just take longer because i dont need it now. but then he says he doesnt want to break now because he doesnt want me to need a break. but i do. what does everyone think. i love him so much and want to end up marrying him in the end but need to explore and not regret anything. help!


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A Jock (Male, Atlanta, 22-25, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: goodthings


Stop thinking so much about what you may or may not want in the future. You don't live in the future, anything could happen, if you dont want to marry him today, don't. But its borderline Manic what your doing to this guy. Not trying to offend you, just trying to offer a reality check. If you have to have a break, he's right you might as well do it now and if fate brings you back together it will. 99.9% of the time during the break one of you will meet someone else, fall in love, hurt the other person who was waiting and destroy any possibility of a relationship in the future. Not Ideal I know but when you talk about marriage it's not only a factor of love, it's also timing. Both have to be there, but you will really regret dragging along the relationship, but try to live in the present a little more. Good Luck you'll make the decision that is best for you whatever that may be.

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A Thinker (Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:


You either want to be with him or you don't. And if you want to marry him, you will know without needing to be away from him and possibly with other guys to figure that out. And if you don't need it now, why are you so sure you'll need it in the future? You're trying to cross a bridge that isn't even on the map yet.



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A Guy Critical (Male, New South Wales, 18-21, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: benei


Poor bloke!! All i can think is that if u want to screw around and explore then u dont really love him, and ur not ready for marital commitement. Ur only young as he im guessing so best sought ur priorities. :)

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