Back to Home

Active Questions

Should I confront my boyfriend ...
Sex & Intimacy / 10:55 PM - Friday January 20, 2006

Should I confront my boyfriend about finding gay porn in his email? Or can most of you men honestly

Should I confront my boyfriend about finding gay porn in his email? Or can most of you men honestly say that you really have never questioned your sexuality towards men. Please be honest. I have a great relationship and I don't want to cause harm to it. Thanks

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Newark, Who Cares?

Read more about the Rating System


I would not confront my SO if he watched porn, but being gay porn...I would not let it out of my mind until I spoke about it. I would.

- Response by sailormoon, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

Rating Received:


If there isn't a problem with him looking at women in porn, then looking at men is no different. Simply because he chooses (if he even looks at it) to pleasure himself looking at men every now and then does not mean he is totally gay, or even that he is considering leaving you. Confronting him about it will only anger him, especially if he is being wrongly accused. As long as the relationship stays healthy and he still devotes himself to you, there is no problem.

- Response by joes22, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Other Profession

Rating Received:


Is your boyfriend's name Steve?! LOL. Just kidding. I have a friend who was married to a guy for 7 years, and one day she found gay porn in his email. He tried to deny it, of course. Saying that he was being spammed when looking at straight porn. Ahem, that kind of spamming is "targeted" to certain audiences, based on your viewing habits/search terms.

End of the story is that he finally came out of the El Closetto. Total Homo.

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, San Diego, Executive

Rating Received:


I'm not even going to ask why, if you have a great relationship, you're looking through his private email. That's not the point, though I might have had a few things to say if it was.

Anyway, are you reasonably sure what you found wasn't spam? I no longer use A O L or h o t m a i l because I recieved over 65 sexual and porn related spams a day when I did use it. Be positive that that wasn't what it was. Spammers don't care whether you're gay or not, they send you that crap constantly. I've gotten spam emails for viagra and hot sex with teenage girls if you catch my drift. It could just be that type of thing.

If not, then you definately need to talk to him about this. This could become a serious problem. Yes, it would be wildly embarassing for him and he might throw it back at you that you had no right to go through his email to begin with, but you need to confront him about it. I don't think that a guy would be actually looking at homosexual porn if he didn't have at least some interest in homosexual activity, in which case, you deserve to hear it from him because as I said, it could cause problems down the road. Make DAMN sure it isn't just spam or sent to him as a gag from his friends first though.

Good luck and blessed be

- Response by ladymacphisto, An Engaged Girl, Female, 29-35, St.Louis, Administrative

Rating Received:


I look at girls in porn... and I promise you, I'm not gay.
I doubt your guy is either. It might be something that was just sent to his email unsoliicited. Or maybe he's just curious... looking just to look.
If it's upsetting to you, what you need to do is talk to him about it... the first thing you will have to tell him is why you were purusing his email.
If he is open enough to share his email with you... and he knew the porn was in there... you should have no problem having an open and honest talk about it.
Good luck! ;)

- Response by hottiemom, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Managerial

Rating Received:



First off, everyone has good advice, but PLEASE don't look past the obvious.

Are you sure it isn't spam? I get use to get ads for gay porn all the time in my email.





- Response by budec, A Player, Male, 26-28, Minneapolis, Technical

Rating Received:


Was it good gay porn or just spam? I mean, that would make a big difference, right?

Most men are afraid of any feelings of intimacy they have toward other men. Hence homophobia. I don't suspect that lends a gay to explore gay porn in his email. For men who are comfortable with their sexuality, much like women - we know our bits and another guy's bits may be the cause of some envy or curiosity, but only in true bisexuals is there any physical interest.

Maybe he's just reading up as he plans a MMF threesome for you?

- Response by aceldama, A Career Man, Male, 29-35, Washington, DC, Technical

Rating Received:


if you have your own e-mail. then
i'm sure you know that this porn is
send all the time. i get any type of porn,
i never sign for it. some of it i look out of
curiosity and some of it i don't. one thing
that i don't due is delete them bc alot of
the time i don't have the time. so if any one
including my husband will see it he might
question it. some of it is so gross that they
have people with animal. so if i was you i
will not worry. porn is porn and i'm sure
some of us will look at it just because.
i you have a great relationship. why mess it up.
if you question him of something like that.
and his innocent that will ruin your great relationship.





- Response by 2hot2handle, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:


Just ask him. If you have a strong relationship then you should be able to talk to him about things and if you don't then why are you with him in the first place, gay porn or otherwise. Assuming that he even looked at it, which he might not have, who cares, it is the same thing. He might be bi, or just curious. Looking at gay porn does not mean he is suddenly going to leave you for another man. The only harm you could cause to your relationship is living with him and keeping a secret about your suspicions about the porn.

- Response by hottmama26, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Student

Rating Received:


I had an old email account I closed because of the spamming from sex sites. I got everything, gay, beastiality, kiddie...

Ask him but I think he could be innocent.

- Response by atticus, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Atlanta, Managerial

Rating Received:


Gay Porn? I would be worried! You are a better woman than I am. He would be hist-or-y in my book!

- Response by cbearalicious, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Oklahoma City, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:


definitely. you should also question the basis of your relationship. does he really love you or is there some other reason that hes with you?

- Response by ambiguity, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 18-21, Vancouver, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


I've read the other comments. Porn is porn, it's only fantasy!lol Yes, ppl that are use to seeing porn, I guess isn't afraid to look at the same sex as sexual items too. It's all discusting to me. Why would I want to see another man naked that I don't even know? It's all greek to me! If you are okay with him watching any kind of porn, I guess you should dismiss it. I realy don't much about how other perceive crap like that, but I see it as filfth in the brain. If I was to have porn of two females on my comp and was watching it, I'd worry I wasn't gay. I'd rather see two guys. I'd perfer not to see anyone naked but the person I'm in love with. But that's me!

- Response by cbearalicious, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Oklahoma City, Medical / Dental

Rating Received: