|Sex & Intimacy / 12:15 PM - Tuesday December 20, 2005|
Urgent help dealing w/a mentally unstable person
My ex is mentally unhealthy and I dont know what to do. Im sorry this is long, but I dont know how else to explain this situation- Im sure everyone will be just get the hell away from him, but unfortunately, its not that easy. We dated for 6 yrs. 4 of those yrs spent living together. In the course of our dating, we started a (very successful) business together- where I still work and I am still 50% shareholder. I need this job, and had also invested a great deal of my own money into starting. I knew he had something of a past which he was up-front and honest about from day one (drugs/closing of his lucrative business- that he had for years) both of which he claimed this to be the result of a painful divorce he had gone through (and I thought this was believable). He was also not from the area, so there wasnt even anyone I could talk to so I could get background info. he was charming, extremely confident and an incredible businessman
. And I guess he suckered me in- as I had found out he is FAR from stupid- actually shrewd and manipulative is a better description. About 2 yrs ago the real him came out- while living with him. It became apparent that he had problems with every person in his life, displayed unbelievably controlling behavior and was manic most of the time- claiming no one had the problems he had to deal with, no one could handle everything he has to handle, everyone wants what he has, etc etc etc. . I said I was going to leave him if things didnt shape up, and he said he would and always did for a while. I should have just left but like an ass I didnt. he had a good line of shit and I always fell for it. The rollercoaster ended this past summer- he told me (very bluntly) he was having an affair with a homosexual man and he wanted to be with him. I could stay living in our house if I wanted, but I would have to accept that his lover would be there too. I left. I had to find a place to live, remove my name from all of the financial crap I could. I had to deal w/him at work with the bf calling and knowing that this man was living in my house & so on. I was upset and he could have really given a shit. And the list of crap goes on and on and on. He is now going through some sort of shit where he isnt sure about his sexuality anymore, and is trying to make me get back with him and make ME feel guilty for not understanding him. He has even tried to re-claim custody of my (our) dog- just because he can and wants to hurt me because he knows I love the dog. He says I am punishing him for what he did by not taking him back and every single day at work he just complains for HOURS about how horrible his life is. He will ask me to do something with him after work, I will say I make plans then he will say, see how cold you are to me- meanwhile, he only asks me when he cant get anyone else to be with. He never thinks about what his actions had done to me. He is severely depressed- talks about killing himself constantly. I dont know what to do but I know I cant take it much longer. I havent dated anyone since- because I feel like if I got hooked up with this freak I really need to reassess my needs in a man. Any advise would be appreciated, please only reply if you have any idea how to deal with such an unstable person. I am ready to have him committed.
- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Rochester, Who Cares?