Back to Search

Uncensored Responses

Introverts out?
Introverts out? / Dating / 1:55 PM - Wednesday March 23, 2005
E-Mail Me
A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, Detroit, 26-28) asked:


I am an introvert. Does this disqualify me from the dating world? This is my personality, so it is hard for me to follow the typical dating advice which basically amounts to "become an extrovert". However, women confuse introversion with a lack of confidence, so it stands to reason that this advice is in fact my only option if I wish to date. P.S. I have tried internet dating to no avail.


READ MORE ABOUT THE RATING SYSTEM


E-Mail Me

A Sweet Sarah (Female, 29-35, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: sunset77


No, don't give up. I am an introvert too, and it very hard when the whole world wants you to be an extrovert. For example, I have always been told 'why don't you talk more? you don't have to feel shy, just be yourself'' but that IS being myself. I have never heard anyone say to someone 'why don't you talk less? you don't have to be talkative, just be yourself'. See?

I don't think that introverts necessarily lack confidence either. Its a misconception. Its just a different basic temperament.

But anyway, my advice would be to just accept yourself as you are. There are lots of people who DO appreciate and understand introverts. And introverts also tend to be good listeners, more caring, and so on; which is all good. So don't try to fight your basic personality. Just realise that you are okay as you are, and there ARE some people who will appreciate your nature.

There is also a books which I recommend called:

"The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World"
by Marti Olsen Laney

Good luck.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me
A Hippie Chick (Female, Boston, Who Cares?, Student) answered:


If people think that you have a lack of confidence and you can tell that they are thinking that then prove them wrong, just all of a sudden do something brave or kind of show off in a way, but not to the point where its like "ahh go away" kind of a thing. Eventhough you are an introvert just kind of keep that in your mid and just make sure you dont get too carried away with talking about yourself and just do what you feel comfortable with.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me
A Thinker (Female, San Jose, 56-65, Law Enforcement) answered:


Be who you are. Do what you love doing. Dont feel you have to pretend to be what you are not. A phony is easy to spot. If you see or know someone you like just smile say hello and ask them a question about who they are. Nothing to personal and pleeeeese no lines. You are young and a good person inside. Remember, the person who gets you is the most fortunate person on the planet.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Career Woman (Female, 46-55) answered:

Screenname: obiwan


just be yourself. join clubs, organizations, keep active. don't be afraid of rejection. if you get rejected, move on to the next person. i'm the princess of rejection. however, in my case, sometimes no isn't enough, i get insulted too. jerks. anyway, being shy or introverted does not disqualify you. just hang in there. develop your interests and your mind. be interesting to talk to. don't put unneeded stress on yourself. do something nice for yourself. try to look your best. be a good listener. women love that.

good luck

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Creative (Female, 26-28, Artist / Musician / Writer) answered:

Screenname: getwhatupay4


I feel ya, I'm introverted myself. ..
Be exactly who you are! Do what you do! If you are not yourself, you will end up with the wrong 'character'.

Rating Received:


E-Mail Me

A Creative (Male, 26-28, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: jaygfla


I am an 28 year old introverted male as well. I spent a long time being single trying to understand my nature and realized that I would be single forever if something didn't give. My advice to you is to first realize that you are a great person and of benefit to this world. No one will love you unless you love yourself. Confidence is very attractive. Second, don't be afraid of rejection, life is about risks and to move forward in anything there is risk involved. Without risk comes stagnation, with it the skys the limit. Its bittersweet you will need to be rejected to overcome your fear of it, then afterward you won't mind it, and love is a numbers game, you will eventually win. Good Luck..Jay

Rating Received:

Back to Active Questions