is there ever a situation where a female has to pay child support for her child, or is this the double standard men have to face.... if it was up to me i wouldnt even bother trying to get child support from the other parent, cause i believe its my FULL responsiblity to support my own. but im just wondering what yall think of this

I have a child support question...I am supposed to receive child support....it's a pittance may I say and after nearly 15 years it still doesn't come regularily. For those of you who are supposed to pay support, and feel free to answer this puppy anonymously, because I'd truly love to hear your responses....why on earth does someone not pay support when their finances are fine and it's a mere $200 a month? Is it because you think she doesn't deserve it? I used to get told by him all the time that I would just go to the bar with it (as if I ever did) when I was single, and it seemed to be justifying to him....tho untrue....but what can be the reason now? He doesn't think I need it, or he feels he shouldn't have to pay? If I didn't pay my power bill regularily it would get cut off....same for the rest too, why should child support be any different?

Update: June 16, 2006.
I just wish to addendum drected to anonymous...I will not give you a poor rating because I asked for honesty here and you obviously have given it....I will say that without knowing, you assumed we were a family and I destroyed it. I was a teenager, and we never married due to cultural differences, his family wouldn't allow it. He has never remarried or had other children, and we had only one. Our relationship was one of sweet and young love, and he is bitter that I left him after he gave me an std from cheating on me. His family supported him being with others of their culture, not me. I put myself through school and remarried years later. I supported myself and my daughter, sometimes going without basics such as food just to be sure there was a plate in front of her. your obvious bitterness tellsme you probably have abandoned your children too, which is sad because you will lose in the long run I assure you, they will be bitter only towards you.....oh, and we need power to live you dumabass

My ex is an illegal immigrant from Honduras. Before I found this out, I became preganat with his child. The relationship didn't work out and now I am trying to get child support. Paternity was established and an amount of 50 bucks was set for support each month! They told me that since he doesn't have a social security number, or a legitimate job (he doesn't file taxes) that they can't base the support order on anything except minimum wage. Not just that, but that they can't really enforce it either because of the circumstance. I was wondering if there is anyone else going trough something similar, and can I have some words of advice as to how to get the child support?!

A co-worker of mine told me that if you pay child support for a child and later on find out it's not your child then all that money is considered a gift to the child and the parent that receviced all that money is not obligated to return one penny. Can someone out there tell me if this is true or not? I was aware that child support laws were unfair but this seems to be a bit corrupt, even by those standards.

Update: October 30, 2006.
I'm not sure how this is an answer to my question but I gave you a +2 anyway. To answer your question though. I have to say "Not always" at least with me.

My boyfriend pays child support for his kids. Do i have to pay child support if we get married? Will the court use my income to calculate the monthly child support?

A Married Girl (Female, Tampa, 29-35, Administrative) asked:

Hey, this is my first year collecting child support for my son and I'm wondering how all of this works at the end of the year.

His father pays child support and THAT'S IT. He lives in another state and has absolutely nothing to do with him....however, he pays.

Who claims the child at the end of the year? What are the legalities pertaining to this?

(For those of you who have been scorned b/c of having to pay child support, shut your mouth don't answer this post and move on.........I don't want to hear your shit.)

Thanks

I recently split with my boyfriend and we have a one year old daughter. He comes from a wealthy family and I come from a middle class family. Right now I am only making enough at my job to barely get by. He agreed to pay me child support through the courts which amounts to 544 dollars a month. Now he has gotten a lawyer out of nowhere and is demanding joint custody ( which reduces child support by half or more). I have no problem with giving him that but I am really broke and cannot afford to lose the support. He says that he will pay me the usual amount off the books but I really don't want to rely on his word at this point. I don't have any idea what my options are and I am afraid of losing all of the child support. Does anyone out there know anything about this? Thanks so much!

Okay, my ex asked me if he could give up his parental rights, (last Thursday). I had an appt. with my attorny today. My question is I have to two options:
A. If he doesn't sign over his rights. The kids would still have to see him for visitation, etc. And he would still pay child support. Which is about $4800. a year. Not much, but it helps.
I should also say, that he is not the best father in the world!
B. I let him sign over the rights. The kids and I would not have to deal with him every again. And he would never have to pay another dime to help support these kids.
Right now, I'm doing okay financialy. I pay a morage note, car pmt, loan pmt, and everything else. Doing fine with the child support!
I would have to stuggle more and cut back where I could, without the child support.
Is it worth dealing with him, he has made my life hell in the past or stugling financialy?
It's a hard decision, someone just give me your two cents.
Also, my kids are only 6 & 7, so we're talking about 11/12 years of child support.
????

Update: September 12, 2006.
Your saying it is okay for a guy to just spread his seed, where every he wants - and the mom's are suppost to pick up the pieces and pay the cost! I do not gamble, smoke or drink. None of my money is used for that stuff. I take my lunch to work everyday, to save money. I do without a lot so my children can have more. I don't understand, how you can say: It's all the mom's responsability? In my case, he was the the one who got his g/f pregnant and paid for the abortion - that is how I found out about her and I filled for a divorce. Was I suppost to just say, Oups! And keep him. And yes, I did get a vaginal disease from her - LUCKLY, it could be cured with antibotics! My thinking, right now, is that we live in a small town, I can't stop him from comming to soccer games, t-ball games, etc. OR even stopping us in the street to talk to the kids - So, he might as well, pay for them. I did not ask him to give up his rights - he does not want his children. And hopefully, sooner or later, he'll quit the visitation.

Update: September 12, 2006.
yes, in the state of Texas. If he gives up his rights - he gives up visitation and I give up child support. But we live in a small town, so he'll still be around. I'm affraid, I'd still have to deal with him! So, my children won't be able to play sports, go to camp, or be in extra activites outside of school because the jerk father won't pay child support and/or half of any medical bills ever again. I'm a single mom with three kids and money does not grow on tree's! And yes, I understand, that he probably really does not want his kids - he said SO. I feel I should mention, that he also has as children in Flordia, which he pays child support for and one in South Dekotha which he signed over his rights too. And has a g/f, who WHAT thinks family number four will be different.. I just want to do what is best for the kids, but how do I ask them "what if you never saw daddy again?" without them wondering or asking more questions. Then in 10 yrs, I'll be the bad parent for taking daddy away. I don't know... I haven't seen him yet this week. I'll wait and see if he confronts me again. Thanks..

A Sweet Sarah (Female, Phoenix, 22-25, Other Profession) asked:

so i just read about a girl who got pregnant at nineteen and the guy walked away, abandoning her and the child and the question was about filing for child support this is one of the responses to it:

Screenname: markdi

Text:
she should abort the child and spare him of the miserable life that statistically speaking the child will suffer. the mothers life will also be miserable along with the poor sap that didnt use protection.
all around, a bunch of idiots.
its not a wonder the first thought from her is 'how much money can i get for this child'. its like winning the lottery


Me: well, how would you have felt if your mother aborted you? how are you in any position to tell anyone what the best choice for them is, especially when the question wasn't even about whether to keep the baby or not. how would you know how hard it would be to raise a child without child support from the father and even with child support i'm sure it's not like "winning the lottery", not even close! a woman who becomes pregnant and is a single mother knows that it will be challenging, but babies are also such a blessing and well worth it. anyone who makes comments such as these obviously are either scorned ex's paying child support or people who are heartless. i see these kind of responses from unemotional ignorant people all the time.

A Thinker (Female, 26-28) asked:

I was wondering if anyone knows about child support. If a father gives up rights to the mother of their child and allows her to change the childs last name. Does he still owe her child support?